A soft answer turns away wrath

It was a very eventful day. I had a yummy breakfast, and of course my cup of coffee to kick start the day.

Here's how the eventful day started. Joywn and I help Ms. Joelin in the morning to make some calls. We needed to contact all the participants for the Peer Counseling Conference happening next week (10th -11th May 2012). It started off quite well. There was one wrong number as well, but the person was kind enough to politely reply that we have go the wrong number. Oops... haha...

The more interesting part came in the evening. After class, Jess and I continued to make the calls. Fortunately or unfortunately, I called this lecturer from UCSI. Academicians are usually better, more polite, more patient? Not in this case I suppose. Or perhaps, her students were driving her up the wall when I called her? Who knows? But, she screamed into the phone mentioning that she has already filled in the form and why would we need to confirm again?

Thankfully, I had done my internship and most of the time, external parties such as banks, suppliers or debtors may not be as patient as well, though most were actually very cooperative. What I had to do during my internship? One of the many tasks was to confirm the figures and amount with them as well. Why do we need to reconfirm? To ensure that it is free from error, and verify the amount.

Nonetheless, this incident over the phone taught me a few lessons.

1. It is not an must for others to treat you in a nice way. Well, that does not mean that you must treat the other person in the same way as well. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. I clearly remembered that I ask my mum when I was eight years old 'What if the other person treats you badly? Then I can treat the other person in the same way as well?' Well, it says, 'Do unto others what you want others to do unto you.' It did not say 'Do unto others what others do to you'.

2. Patience is developed, not born. It is very natural to snap back at another person who is impolite despite the fact that you are polite. But, a soft answer turns away wrath. There is no point arguing, it is like adding oil to fire.Often, anger is very disruptive. Being patient does not come naturally, it is a constant self reminder to do so. And, if you do it often enough, it will some what sink into your sub -conscious mind to be more tolerant and careful with the words used when speaking. But, there may be times where the wire may snap as well.

3. I need to examine myself when speaking to others. At the end of the day, think back on the conversation that I had with others, I realized that on some days, certain answers may not be too nice to the receiving party. By reflecting on the day's conversation and encounters, I can learn to master the art of talking to others in a nicer way. It is not being fake or putting on a show, but, it is being more conscious and tactful of people's feeling.

4. Positive remark motivates, negative remark demotivates and sometimes  provokes anger.

5. I learn to compartmentalize my feeling. My feeling of displeasure or exasperation  with another person should not be taken out on an innocent person who is not involved in the matter. Look at the issue at hand, and to the person. If my exasperation is over Issue A, it should only stop there. It should not be brought into my interaction with another person regarding Issue B or C.

6. Looking from the other person's perspective and analyze why some people always make negative remarks or gets angry easily. Here is where Non -Violent communication comes in very handy.

Ultimately, the main lesson is that 'A soft answer turns away wrath'.

Cheers for the day.

I'm enjoying my ice -blended mocha with additional espresso shot now.

Trust?

Trust is defined as a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Firm believe? It is surely easier said than done. And, it is both ways.. One finds it hard to trust another person, others find it hard to trust someone too...

But, why is trust such a difficult thing? Is it human nature to trust? Or to NOT trust?

Trust... what does it mean to you?